Career Change

With my support, Scooter has decided not to pursue radiology or clinical medicine any further. He has been offered a nonclinical fellowship position at Stanford University and we are moving to Palo Alto, California in a few short weeks!

For quite a while now, Scooter has been feeling less like being a doctor was a good fit for him. This last year while he has finally been practicing the specialty of his choice his unhappiness and dissatisfaction have only grown. With a minimum of four years of training still ahead of him, he got to the point where that amount of time seemed almost insurmountable. He became increasingly sure that he was not going to want to practice medicine as his future career, and didn’t see enough value in completing the training for a career that he didn’t want. His decision had nothing to do with his performance as a radiologist, in fact, he was doing very well, but the decision was necessitated by his coming to terms with his changing interests. I am so proud of my husband for being brave enough to take this drastic step to fight for his own happiness.

To some, this announcement might not seem as dramatic as it actually is. It is quite common for physicians to switch specialties mid-training, but to completely leave clinical medicine is rarely done. To illustrate, less than one hour after the staff of the radiology department at Mayo (where he currently works) were informed that he would be leaving the program, Scooter started receiving emails from people at other hospitals in Phoenix wondering what was going on. That’s how fast the word spread.

For those that are interested, I’ve answered some questions that frequently come up…

Did he get kicked out of his program? Absolutely not. The people at Mayo Clinic are sad to see him go and tried very hard to convince him to stay.

Did he not like his program/the Mayo Clinic? Scooter has nothing but good things to say about his program and, particularly, the people he worked with. The program director has been such a blessing and couldn’t have been more helpful and empathetic during Scooter’s decision-making process.

So, he won’t be a doctor anymore? At this point, we don’t foresee him treating patients in any clinical capacity in the future, but he will maintain an active medical license and hasn’t closed the door to that possibility.

Why can’t he just “suck it up and finish”? Scooter is the hardest worker I know, so he could make himself finish, but we didn’t see the point of him doing four more years of training (after the six he has already done) to then decide not to practice. Finishing his training just doesn’t really align with his long-term career goals anymore.

So all those years of training are wasted? We don’t see it like that. Firstly, in addition to his MD, Scooter has an MBA and a Masters in Healthcare Administration, so those two degrees will be extremely relevant in the future. We also feel that completing as much medical training as he has, makes him uniquely placed to understand the medical field and the healthcare industry generally. He has already been offered a leadership position in his fellowship program because of his prior training.

What are some of the things you guys are forfeiting because of this decision? We feel the main thing we are giving up is security and predictability. This may be over-simplifying things, but being a practicing physician has a very clear career path with a very predictable salary and trajectory. For now, the new path Scooter has chosen is completely full of unknowns, but we felt that giving up the predictability of clinical medicine was worth it for a chance for Scooter to really be passionate about and enjoy his career.

How could he get through so much training before realizing medicine wasn’t for him? If he felt unhappy in medical school we would tell ourselves that it was because he was the “pee on”, or he didn’t have any responsibility, or he was only getting to learn very general medicine which was less interesting to him than specializing. We told ourselves that when he got to residency and didn’t have to do broad, general medicine and could specialize in his chosen field that he would enjoy it more. Most people don’t enjoy their intern year as they are completely worked to death, so last year we were just looking forward to this year. This year was his first year of finally doing the type of medicine that made him want to go to medical school ten years ago when we started this process. 

What have the past couple months looked like for you guys? The past few months have been incredibly emotionally intense as we’ve weighed the pros and cons of our decision. We’ve been staying up half the night making pro/con lists, finding and applying for jobs and fellowships, filling out applications, writing and editing admissions essays, counseling with each other, family, friends, church leaders, colleagues, and acquaintances, and working on renovating and prepping our house for a move, all while sending Scooter off to work in the morning where he had to pretend like nothing was going on. Everything we’ve done has been wrapped in super high-stakes outcome stress. The stress has even bled into our sleep – I’ve been wakened up countless times by dreams where I feel like I am falling. It has really felt like a refining fire, but we feel like the end of this particular stretch of trying times is in sight.

What’s he going to do at Stanford? The Stanford University fellowship that Scooter has been accepted to, is called the CERC program.  The fellows design, test and evaluate models of healthcare delivery that lower population-wide spending for higher quality care. He is ridiculously excited about it. I’ve rarely seen him so passionate about something.

Where are you going to leave? The program starts on August 1^st, but they prefer to have him there on July 15^th! We only found out about his acceptance a couple weeks ago while we were in Switzerland, so we are feeling pretty overwhelmed right now.

What about your house? When we bought our home 12 months ago, we thought we’d be in Phoenix for 4 years, so now that we are selling it we are trying to do four years’ worth of updates in a few short weeks. We are hoping to have it listed by this Saturday! It has been crazy.

Are you sad to leave Phoenix? Yes! That has been something that is really hard because we have loved it here. We love our house, our friends, our neighborhood, my gym, our ward, the weather, the proximity to family, etc.

How are you feeling about all of this, Jessica? It’s been an emotional roller coaster. I’ve known that there was a high likelihood of this outcome for about three months now, so I have really had time to run the entire gamut of emotions. I feel like the five stages of loss- denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance – really apply here. I still have high and low days, but overall I’m in a good place now and am so proud of Scooter (and me too!) for being brave enough to take this step into the unknown. This whole experience has built my faith more than almost any other experience of my life, so I am grateful for that.

I want to talk to Scooter about this! My Instagram account is basically the only social media that either of us use, so many of his colleagues and friends are hearing about our decision because we've linked

here. If anyone wants to reach out and talk to Scooter about this, he is more than happy to field emails and phone calls. I’ll try to answer any questions left in the Instagram comments as well.

Overall, we are so grateful and excited that Scooter is getting a chance to pursue something he is really passionate about. It feels like this course correction has finally gotten us on the right path. We are excited to see what the future has in store for us!

We Couldn't Be More Thrilled...!!!

Announcing...

365 Days: Week 23

This week four of my seven pictures were of food. Not sure why I was so obsessed... Maybe after our extended separation I was excited to remind Scooter that I can cook? 

Look at that smile! I wish you could hear the adorable laugh that goes with it.

Some nights are just pizza nights. Why is it that some days putting dinner on the table just seems like an insurmountable task?

I made jam. I made the classic strawberry but also tried a new flavor - strawberry/blueberry. Yum!

This kid is growing teeth faster than a shark! We were trying to check and see if his second front tooth had broken through - it had, but Scooter also noticed that the tooth next to his froth tooth had broken through as well. So, we thought he had one more but it is actually two more!

I spent some time at Kinko's today working on an anniversary present for Scooter. 

Strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, and blackberries were all on sale - hallelujah! 

A lemon cheesecake for Father's Day. I was proud because it didn't even crack! I hoped the oven bag would protect the springform pan from leaking, but a tiny bit of water still got in somehow. I guess I should have used foil plus the bag...

365 Days: Week 22

I am still taking pictures every day but just getting really behind on posting them, but I will try to do it when I can find the time.

This week kicked off with Brad, Rachelle, and Avery coming to St. George for my last few days and me going back home to my much-missed husband. My mom and I didn't tell my dad that Rachelle, Avery, and Brad were coming to St. George so it was fun to see the look on his face when they all walked in. 

Rachelle and Brad are such darling parents. Brad is so proud of her and loves to be really involved. She is really a beautiful baby and super alert all the time. It is so fun to have a baby girl in the family now - just look at that bow!

It was too windy to go boating, but I wanted to go to Sand Hollow one last time before I went back to Kansas. I sure love that place. 

Scooter and Lincoln were sure happy to see each other. It had been three weeks! We were kinda testing our limits on this trip and we decided that two weeks was definitely our limit. Scooter is so sweet to let me leave for such long periods of time, but we figure that if we are spending all that money to fly there I may as well stay long enough to make it worth it. Lincoln had gotten much more wiggly since Scooter had last seen him and he was amazed at how impossible difficult it was to diaper and dress him. Lincoln was so happy to see his daddy that he was super hyper which didn't help the situation. 

More Scooter and Lincoln re-connection and bonding time. We did almost nothing after Scooter got home except play together. It's so fun to be together. No one is better at getting Lincoln to laugh than Scooter. 

I decided to paint the back of my bookcases. I tried out three colors. Which one do you think I chose?

Love this kid. 

Lincoln's first real swim. I had been looking forward to this for months. It didn't disappoint. Lincoln didn't love his hat, but at least he didn't get a sunburn!

365 Days: Week 21

This week I spent just relaxing in St. George. Andrea, Adam, their two kids, and Lauren came down for the Memorial Day weekend. Everyone always makes a big deal of me coming to Utah and always goes out of their way to see me as much as possible. I feel so loved!

We liked the park where we had some of the reunion so much that we went the next day after church to let Eli play. I love Andrea and Adam admiring Oliver in this photo. That is one of the fun things about newborns - studying them and admiring them endlessly. 

Memorial Day. This was Lincoln's first time going on the boat. I thought he would be nervous, but he really loved it. It is one of my favorite things to do, so it was fun to be able to share it with him. Going to the lake is becoming more and more complicated with more and more babies in the family. This trip involved three separate cars going to the lake at two different times and three cars coming home all separately. Working around naps is hard, but I think as the kids get older and need less/no naps it will get easy again and really fun. 

My friend Zach and his wife Mariya came over to see Lincoln, who was, as usual, completely charming. 

Lincoln figured out how to give kisses. They are really sloppy and he doesn't have the best aim, but the sweetest kisses in the whole world. (No, I'm not naked. Just in a swimsuit.) 

My mom and I left Lincoln with my dad for a couple hours in the afternoon while we went to see a movie. Who knew that my dad was a babysitting prodigy? Lincoln woke up from his nap very prematurely and my dad didn't panic or just let him wake up. He went in there and soothed him back to sleep! When we got home from the movie we found him out showing Lincoln off to any neighbor that he encountered. Gold stars for grandpa!

We took Lincoln to the Town Center Park again. This time he liked it even more and warmed up to it more quickly. He explores everything with his mouth and didn't think that this waterfall should be an exception. 

We went to Beaver Dam, Arizona to see my dad's band play at the Beaver Dam Jam -  a multi-day music festival. It was hot as Hades! My dad's band sounded really good. I really enjoy watching them. I used to be embarrassed - what high school girl would want to see her dad on lead guitar in a classic rock and roll cover band? - but now I think it is so awesome that he has a hobby that he loves and has fun with. 

365 Days: Week 20

This week was more hanging with the family mixed in the with the mounting stress of my upcoming high school reunion. There were only two of us planning and putting it together, so I was feeling the pressure. 

The last solar eclipse was when I was in fourth grade and I still remember going out on the playground with these special pieces of glass to look through. Needless to say we were really excited about this one and were totally geeking out about it. Since you'll really hurt your eyes if you look directly at it (plus you can't really see it that way anyway - it's too bright) Adam made viewing devices with poster tubes and cereal boxes so we could see the shadow of it projected onto a paper. That wasn't satisfying enough, so we called around his neighborhood until we found someone with a welding mask. We walked up to their house and watched it through the welding mask. It was much more satisfying plus I was able to take these pics through it as well (that's why it looks green). Overall it got sort of dim outside and you could tell that the light was different somehow. 

Another trip to the park plus packing up our stuff to move our circus down to St. George for the duration of my trip. 

Our drive to St. George was pretty interesting. We got a later start than we should have, so Lincoln was pretty unhappy to be in his car seat. My mom started singing to him to calm him down. He stopped crying, but would start up again every time she stopped singing. Bless her heart, my mom sang to him for two full hours! She ran out of nursery rhymes pretty quickly, then moved on to Primary songs and hymns, then any other songs she could think of. After about 90 minutes she started coming up with really weird choices. We were laughing so hard. Thankfully, Lincoln finally fell asleep before my mom lost her voice completely, but it was hoarse the next day. 

My mom had been in northern Utah since the end of April so she could be there for the births of the two new babies and so she could help my sisters. My poor dad had been pretty lonely and really missing her. From the looks of things, all the houseplants really missed my mom too!

We took some time out of reunion preparations to take Lincoln to the Town Square Park for his first non-bath water experience. He was pretty wary at first, but warmed up to it after a while. He didn't like to wear his hat, but he loved watching all the other kids playing. That park is really a neat place for kids - we are so glad they put it in. 

The day before my reunion and I was busy, busy, busy! It was hard to plan it when neither I, nor the girl helping me, lived in St. George anymore. We couldn't travel there with pre-prepared things, so we had to make and buy everything once we got there, which didn't leave much time. We felt like we were throwing stuff together at the last minute. I had a craft table set out in my parents garage. As part of the decor I made these vases with everyone's yearbook picture on them. My parents were seriously so supportive and couldn't have been more helpful. My dad even helped me Modge Podge these vases!

The reunion was, in my opinion, a success. There were two events -  a family one at a park during the afternoon and a more formal adults-only one at a hotel later that night. These were some of the people from our class that came and most brought a spouse/guest so we had a pretty good turn out (about 50 out of a class of around 300). It was fun to see my old friends and reminisce. Isn't it funny how girls aren't reluctant to be in photos so they are all in the front and all the boys are in the back. I literally had to push the boys a little bit to get them to stand this close together (!) and they were hiding behind each other (!). I think everyone that came had a good time. I had people tell me that they had been dragged there by a friend and hadn't really wanted to come but were really glad that they did.  Hopefully they will spread the word that it was fun and we will get even more people at the next one. 

I just have to add a HUGE thank you to my family (especially my parents) who were literally saints to help me with all of this. They really went above and beyond. They had nothing invested in the reunion  - no one would have known if they hadn't helped at all, but they were amazing and helped anyway. That's just the kind of people I'm lucky enough to have in my family! They watched Lincoln a ton so I could get things done. Poor Lincoln basically only saw me for nursing sessions for two days. Not only did they watch Lincoln, but they did a bunch of other stuff as well. My parents let me use their cars, make a huge crafting mess in their house (which they even cleaned up afterwards!), helped decorate the space, drove me all over, helped me set up and tear down two events, brought Lincoln to me so I could feed him, helped set up signs on the road during a huge windstorm, ran errands for me that I didn't have time to do, dropped things off during the reunion that I'd forgotten, manned the welcome table, and more.  I couldn't have done it without them. Thanks family!

365 Days: Week 19

I spent this week at my sister Andrea's in Bountiful, Utah. We mostly just hung out and tried to spend as much time with as many of my sisters as possible. I also finally got my family to watch Downton Abbey and they are hooked - even Adam!

As a Mother's Day surprise we bought the grandkids matching outfits. When we pulled into Andi's driveway from picking Lincoln and I up from the airport everyone was waiting outside. It took my mom a minute to figure it out, but it was really sweet. Lincoln was pretty overwhelmed by all of the people fawning over him. He is used to it being pretty quiet around here with just Scooter and I. 

I did a lot of snuggling with this little guy. When I saw my sisters' new babies I was so surprised at how tiny they were. That was only seven months ago for me - it is funny how quickly you forget. I also went down to Provo to spend some more time with my sister, Rachelle, and her new baby Avery. Somehow we didn't take a single picture...

Staying with Andi was pretty crazy sometimes because we had three kids under two. I seriously don't know how people that actually have that situation cope because we thought it was hard and we usually had at least three adults there. We were proud when all the nap schedules aligned so that we could go get Jamba juices and go to the park. Adam met us there on the way home from work. I love this picture for so many reasons - I think it perfectly captures so many things about these family members. 

One funny thing that Eli kept doing was copying whatever Lincoln was doing. Even if it was something that Eli never does. If Lincoln was crawling, Eli would get down and crawl as well. If Lincoln was chewing on his toys, Eli would chew on his toys too. If Lincoln was drinking something, Eli also wanted something to drink. If Lincoln was sucking his fingers, Eli would look over at him then suck his fingers as well. 

We were all really impressed with how Lincoln handled all the changes. He is used to having pretty quiet days at home alone with me, and suddenly he was in this loud house with all these people and toys and a crying newborn and a two-year-old cousin in his face trying to play with him. The only major difference was that he was quieter than usual - maybe he didn't want to compete with everyone else's talking?

Another trip down to Provo. This time to get something huge laminated for my upcoming 10-year high school reunion. BYU was one of the only places around that could accommodate it (and they did it for a fraction of the cost). Getting to see these girls again was a big bonus. I'm just sure that there isn't a campus with a lovelier location anywhere - those mountains are so gorgeous.

More Oliver snuggling and more Downton Abbey watching. 

365 Days: Week 18

This week Scooter's mom came into town for a visit and I prepared to leave on a three week visit to Utah.

We started the week off with the long-anticipated dedication of our Kansas City temple. We attended the dedication from our stake center via satellite. In true Kansas fashion a giant thunderstorm blew in during the dedication and knocked out the satellite so we missed about half of the dedicatory prayer. Honestly, we haven't seen rain like that in a long time. It was pretty scary to drive home in it. 

Lots of people don't know that Kansas City is on the border of Kansas and Missouri. Half the city is in each state. The med school/hospital is on State Line Road. We like to cross over to Missouri, when it is convenient, to buy our gas because it is cheaper there.

I saw this recipe for personalized baked oatmeal. It sounded intriguing so I tweaked the recipe a bit and tried it. We liked them although they had a different texture than I thought they would. I made probably ten different varieties. My favorites were the raspberry with chocolate chips and the coconut with granola.

I found these sticking out of the mailbox when I drove up to the house. They were part of my birthday gift. We also attended Scooter's induction into the Alpha Omega Alpha society, which is for all the super smart med students. Only the top seven percent of his class was invited to join the society. It is kinda a big deal. I wish I had pictures of it, but a huge camera doesn't really match a cocktail dress, so I didn't bring it. It was nice that Jody could be here for it.

Lincoln is usually too busy to snuggle, but he cuddled with his Grandma Jody for a full five minutes. I was completely surprised and kept tiptoeing around so I wouldn't distract him. 

Lincoln has had a mystery rash on his back for about a week. It wasn't getting better on it's own so I thought I'd go have someone look at it before I went to Utah and took him away from his doctor for a month. He sure loves playing in that exam table paper. He's fine, by the way. The rash is still a mystery, but it is gone now.

I was trying to pack and Lincoln kept crawling away from me or towards non-Lincoln-approved items so we came up with this system. He was actually very happy in there. Jody was also really nice to babysit so we could go on a date before i left. We ate at the incredibly delicious Room 39 and saw our first imax 3D movie - Avengers. Thanks Jody!

Sorry for my absence

I've been visiting family in Utah for over three weeks - meeting my new niece and nephew, hanging out with my family, throwing my 10 year high school reunion, and soaking up the sun and dry heat.

I just got back to Kansas and will try to start posting again as soon as I can get my pictures downloaded and some food in my fridge.

365 Days: Week 17

This was a really busy week for the rest of my (Doxey) family, but it was pretty quiet around here between exciting baby updates. 

We fed Lincoln a solid that wasn't a mush for the first time. We were really confused about what to start him on, but we tried rice rusks because it seems like they would be tricky to choke on. He immediately put it into his mouth (where everything else he gets his hands on goes) but was surprised to find that it had a taste.

We had been suspicious that Lincoln had an ear infection for a few days, but finally decided to find out for sure. Lincoln's favorite thing about the doctor's office is the paper on the examination table. I figure that since they are throwing it away anyway no one will care if he plays with it, so I let him do whatever he wants with it. Kids should have one fun memory of the doctor's office, right? He crumples it, smashes it, tears it, pulls it, and rolls himself in it. He couldn't be happier. While we were waiting he got it twisted around himself a few times and had to be extracted by me. Just as a request, Lincoln, don't pull on your ears constantly if you don't have an ear infection - it just confuses your mama. 

We try to go outside every evening for a few minutes of outdoor family time. Even if it just onto the back deck. Lincoln absolutely loves being taken outside and it is a surefire way to calm him down if he is ever really upset.

We haven't really set Lincoln down in the grass before because we've heard horror stories about the chiggers around here. He seemed more confused about the texture than anything else. Don't you love his onesie? When I saw a monkey wearing a tool belt I had to get it. 

I raised the garage door after coming home from visiting teaching to find this happening in my garage... This picture kinda perfectly portrays Scooter's life - scrubs, measuring tape, saw, and the baby monitor in his pocket. On a side note, doesn't our garage look shamefully awful?

Lincoln loves to sit outside and watch his daddy do yard work. You should have seen how filthy his little socks were after this!

We finally got started on the tile in the master bathroom. I was set on this pattern from the conception stages of this project. It took a lot of convincing before Scooter was on board, because it is a lot more work than other patterns, but now he is so glad we did it. We think it looks really great and it is such a relief to finally have the bathroom start resembling, well, a bathroom.

I didn't take my camera, but I also attended the cultural celebration in conjunction with our new Kansas City temple being dedicated this weekend. For those that are unfamiliar with the custom, the night before a new temple is dedicated the youth from the temple district get together and put on a performance that reflects the culture of the area. Our beloved prophet was there and his spirit just filled the entire arena. I really didn't know what to expect and when I entered the arena I was feeling underwhelmed by everything, but as the performance started I started feeling overwhelmed by what an amazing job the youth from our temple district did. I can't imagine how much work it must have been to organize 3,000 youth from so many towns. They only had one chance to practice all together in the arena before the performance. It was really impressive - they had an orchestra and a choir. One of my favorites was the Polynesian number (who knew that they have a HUGE Polynesian population in the Independence, MO area? I live here and I didn't know.) My favorite was the number that was done by the youth from Joplin, MO that were affected by the tornado that caused so much damage and death bout a year ago. 25% of the town was leveled (including one of their church buildings) and over 160 people were killed. Kenneth Cope was there and sang a beautiful song while the youth reenacted the rebuilding that went on in the aftermath. Overall it was an amazing and spiritual evening. Even though the performances were definitely not professional quality by any stretch of the imagination, that wasn't the point. The point was that the youth got to spend time together, be with others that have their standards, and have a wonderful experience to remember. I was so blessed to be able to be there - there were a limited number of tickets. Thanks to my friend Stephanie who invited me and to her husband that gave up his ticket to me.

You can read more about it here.
You can watch some clips of it here and here and here and here